I have my moments where I don’t know how I got here. Like I’m still in fifth grade or eighth grade—or maybe at the very most a senior in high school. I have compiled the following list to reassure me that, not only am I a full-fledged adult, but a mother as well!
You know you're a mom when...
1. You finally get your infant to bed and then sit on the couch with your husband and look at pictures of him.
2. Your St. Patrick’s Day fun consists not of drinking green beer like the good old days, but of dressing your baby up in a St. Paddy’s Day outfit and doing a photo shoot. (The good new days).
3. You’ve changed his outfit four times and changed your own three times and it’s not even 10 a.m.
4. Your little guy sneezes in your mouth and you don’t even bat an eye.
5. You sometimes might sleep with his lovey during the night so it will smell like you when you give it back to him.
6. You have Goodnight Moon memorized and legitimately wonder why they don’t say goodnight to the telephone.
7. You have (just maybe) sat on the floor by your bed with tears streaming down your cheeks as you look at his ultrasound photos.
8. Your life is lived in two- to three-hour increments because you are breastfeeding and sorry, if it takes four hours, I can’t come.
9. You get peed on daily and you still never learn.
10. When your baby boy hasn’t pooped since yesterday, you get so anxious and then relieved and excited when it finally happens. Yep, excited for poop.
11. Your little boy isn’t even six months old and you are already praying for his future wife and hoping beyond hope that she’s a nice girl.
12. Going out to dinner isn’t even worth it because you have to take nine million items with you…and packing those nine million items takes just as long as eating dinner does.
13. You go into his room to make sure he’s breathing eight times per night, especially during those first few months.
14. You say the silliest things and make up the most ridiculous songs and speak in the most idiotic voice…and your baby thinks you’re the funniest thing ever.
15. You lean in close every time he yawns because NOTHING smells better than baby yawns.