Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Lost 8.7 Hours

While doing what seemed like 74 loads of laundry the other day, I came to a realization that I waste just far too much time turning clothes from inside-out to rightside-out (if that’s even a word).  I now get it why my mom used to fold the clothes as is, whether or not the tag was on the outside. With the help of a calculator (because, like any good Catholic school girl, I am fantastic at grammar, while my math skills are lacking), I estimated that I waste spend about 8.7 hours per year on JUST this small task!  Ridiculous.  There are 8.7 million things I could do with 8.7 hours, like:

·      Run three half marathons and then cool down with a nice leisurely 10K.

·      Drive to Washington, D.C. or Nashville or even good old Sparta, Wisconsin (in case I cared even a little about that place).

·      Attend two baseball games and then another one that goes into extra innings.

·      Drink a 24-pack of Miller Lite by myself, at an easy pace of about a beer every twenty minutes.  And then go to hospital to get treated for alcohol poisoning.

·      Have about six C-sections.

·      Go to the movie theater and see four chick flicks.

·      Get eight massages and still have some time left over to get a manicure.

·      Read three James Patterson novels, cover to cover.

·      Burn over 14,000 calories on the StairMaster…and then go eat McDonald’s till I throw up.

·      Scarf down 105 hot dogs at a doable speed of one every five minutes…and then most likely go throw up.

·      Listen to about eight Jay-Z albums.

·      Watch The Sound of Music three times.

·      Take a direct flight to Paris and still have time to claim my luggage, assuming it makes it there.

You get the point.  So the next time you’re undressing and throw your clothes in the hamper inside out, just don’t do it!  Assuming you are the laundress in the family, you are only screwing yourself out of 8.7 good hours!   


  1. I am the laundress and I'm booking my trip to Paris right now.

  2. I don't turn anybody's clothes (even Joe's) right side out except mine, and very few of mine go in the hamper inside out to begin with. However, I do have a thing about socks; they won't come clean or dry thoroughly if they're balled up, so I do unball balled up socks. Oh, and I don't do my kid's laundry; they have been doing their own since I got a front loading washer/ dryer 10 years ago. Wonder how much time THAT has saved me?!