Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Ode to Routine


I’ve always considered myself a pretty chill, laid back gal; sure, I have a pretty good dose of Type A in me (an unhealthy obsession with making lists, for instance), but I think I tend to be rather relaxed and go-with-the-flow. EXCEPT, that is, for Buddy Boy’s routine. 

Because I’m home all day during the week, I can afford to be anal and neurotic with our schedule.  Feeding before the first nap starts at precisely the same time each morning and any visitors are strongly suggested to come between 11:30-1:30.  (Wow, just typing this sentence makes me realize that I must appear to be a rigid and psychotic freak). Afternoon nap starts at roughly the same time each day.  Bath time is precisely at 7 pm, followed by feeding, stories and sleep.  So if you want me to meet you for breakfast at 9:30…sorry, I can’t.  If you’d like to run errands this afternoon…only if it’s between 11:30 and 1:30.  If you invite me to dinner tonight…alright, but I need to be home by 7.  Sure, it makes for a rather solitary existence at times, but I don’t regret it for a second.

Recently, we attended our parenting group for a session on “traveling with baby.”  Well, that’s silly, I thought, who would travel with a baby? Let me tell you…I was in for a rude awakening! Apparently we are the only sad souls who do not travel with their child.  I thought that parenting was the great equalizer; I just assumed that once you have kids, everyone just chooses to sit at home on Friday night and no one goes on trips or vacations until the kids are a little older.  I guess I was wrong!

During the course of the aforementioned “travel with baby” conversation, we learned that three couples have taken airplane rides and most have gone Up North several times. When it came time for our turn to share, I sheepishly said, “Well, we go to Mass on Sundays and we sometimes go to Target.”  And, darn it, I look forward to these little adventures! Furthermore, it was suggested that traveling with your baby stimulates their brains in a way that hanging out at home just does not.  So for the past (nearly) five months, Buddy Boy and I have been holed up inside, safe from H1N1 and the polar vortex.  (This is not entirely true; we did go for walks each day before winter savagely killed this precious ritual).  Here I thought I was doing the right thing by staying home out of the cold and away from the germy masses and it turns out I’ve been robbing him of intellectual stimulation? 

While having conversations with some other moms I know, I discovered that maybe I’m just a weirdo and I march to the beat of a different drummer.  There is no “falling asleep in the swing.” (First off, we don’t have one; secondly, that sounds a little too loosey-goosey).  There is no “taking naps together.”  (For starters, I’d be afraid of rolling over on him; next, I don’t want him to be dependent on me for sleep; lastly, when else am I going to clean my bathroom?).  We did not have a bassinet; we got home from the hospital and Buddy Boy went right down in his big, cold, lonely crib all by himself.  (Clearly, I am the Mother Ice Queen).  In the first few months, one of my favorite things was for my son to take a nap on my chest.  Yes, it was sweaty and yes, my right arm fell asleep most of the time…but I loved those moments and will look back on them fondly for the rest of my life.  However, a 5-week-old taking a nap in your arms is much different than a 5-month-old taking a nap in your arms. I’ve found that my older baby does much better with a…you guessed it…routine!

So I guess the moral of the story is that every family is different.  As long as you’re doing what you think is best for your child, then that’s the best you can do.  Different strokes for different folks, and all that.  I may be singing a whole ‘nother tune when I have three of four kids running around…but until then, I’m sticking to our routine!




8 comments:

  1. Jenna, you have found your calling. Mother and writer

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  2. Thanks for the update Jenna. Keep up the good work!

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  3. I love that aside..."my baby sleeps through the night." It's like a big "neener, neener, neener," to those who say you should relax. You must be doing something right!

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    1. I deleted that portion (see Mrs. G.'s comment below)! I felt it sounded a bit bratty :)

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  4. I volunteered with the Parenting Program at Beaumont and if I learned and shared anything during those 10 years it was do what works best for you. Routines are good for the sanity but being rigid may keep you from some fun.
    Many moms didn't want that new baby to change their lives so they kept up with meeting for coffee, shopping, meeting for lunch and their baby slept off and on in the car seat with no special routine. Worked when baby slept a lot in the very beginning but as the child gets older routines and structure are essential.
    BTW: never brag on how well your child is doing---kiss of death!!! Also just when you think you have the most amazing parenting skills the 2nd child comes along. So much of child rearing is temperament of the child and luck--and a parent with lots of patience and a sense of humor. I think, Jenna Kay, you will be a champ!!!!

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    1. Good point, Mrs. G! I felt kind of bratty putting that anyway and I'm quite superstitious...I've since deleted that part! ;)

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  5. Oh man this post is about me ;) I have learned that parenting is all about what works best for you and your child and most of the time that is discovered through trial and error. Madelyn is currently napping in her swing and I can only hope it last long enough or later today we will both end up cuddled in bed together for an afternoon nap. I have an unscheduled baby that naps, eats and plays when she wants. We travel up north every couple weeks and just booked last minute tickets to FL next week. I don't have to worry about her sticking to routine. If I make plans she just comes right along. She is pretty good about napping in her carrier, carseat or strangers bed if she is tired. It allows our days to be pretty "go with the flow". There is negatives though... sometimes she won't nap without me. She can get really fussy before finally falling asleep and I can't always plan on a set time to get anything done. I can't say its the best way but its working. I think we will try to start a routine more as she gets older.

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    1. Girrrrl, it's about most of the moms I know! I need to be more carefree and easygoing with things...I swear I was just saying that to my mom today. I wish I was more like you guys and could just travel or let him sleep on me or not care about sticking to a schedule! I am probably missing out on a bunch of fun things by being rigid. :)

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